Coffee Prince (2007)

Overall, a nice drama

Overall, this was a nice drama. I liked some things and disliked others (your mileage may vary, some fringe takes I consider absolutely crazy, but I am more or less aligned with the general sentiment).

I think that most other reviews nail down the strengths pretty well. In terms of the pet peeves, one thing I didn't like was the treatment of the topic of betrayal. In My Mister there was a great line that talked about how in kdramas betrayal is treated flippantly or romanticized, and you don't see the true effects, or they are swept under the rug when you need to move the story forward, and My Mister was a perfect example of a show that didn't do that at all, not shying away from the pain and long term consequences of the affair, with flashbacks and DH's imagining his wife being intimate with her lover.

I feel that My Wife Is Having An Affair This Week was an example of the above mentioned flippancy, in that there are some scenes where the anguish is shown, but for the sake of the plot they move past it when convenient, and someone who couldn't even touch her without thinking of her with her lover suddenly has his trauma healed because of what, a decision? The power of love? If one could simply chose to get past that trauma and rebuild trust that manner, they wouldn't have needed to divorce and people wouldn't need therapy and counselling. Healing and rebuilding trust are not easy, they don't happen on command, and some times they don't happen at all (and some time, it's appropriate for them not to happen: if somebody was factually speaking disloyal and betrayed your trust, they have shown themselves to be unworthy of your trust, and if you didn't believe them capable of that, you should realize that the object of your affection didn't exist outside your head and the real person is quite different).

In a review of Crazy, Stupid Love, a commentator had written that it was fundamentally fake, phony, dishonest, in that it does not show the true pain one goes through, the trauma, the broken trust, there is no effect on surrounding relationships and no therapy and marriage counsellor, and trying to move past the pain and failing to do so, etc. My Wife Is Having An Affair This Week used the flashback/image with the lover only when he embraced his wife, not before, which was unrealistic, and even that was shown only once and in a tame manner.

Coffee Prince is that way: for some reason, despite having lived through the hell of YJ having an affair with DK for more than a year and lying to his face about working while she was with him, and leaving him for two years despite him begging not to, he continues to pine after her and remembers only the good times. No flashbacks to the pain and anguish of discovering her betrayal and choosing to forgive her day after day for more than a year, no imagining her with her lover, etc. Some times at the beginning and the time where he confessed to have known of the affair at the side of the road were the only two times where his anguish was manifested, then it was brushed aside and we saw someone who didn't act as if he was carrying trauma commesurate with the hell he was put through. No comparable trust issue, him joking and playing along when she makes light of the betrayal and him being the victim that took her back, and feeling his pride hurt by mentions of DK, who he hates. After the scene in the car and all the pain that showed up? After she used a man she cheated on him with for more than a year and abandoned him, and recently used to make him jealous, threatening to leave him to DK? When he felt he couldn't even open up to her about not feeling comfortable with DK's presence when she phoned the guy and met/had lunch with him one on one?

Frankly, I wonder if the writer's intentions was to make it appear as if she had merely dumped him, because what I saw, him being uncomfortable with DK but pretending he was cool with it with YJ, even shaking the guy's hand as if he didn't know she had been seeing him behind his back for more than a year while they were together, or him appearing uncomfortable with her indulging/flirting with his cousin (when he saw him with his head in her lap)... I thought he was insecure because of the abandonment, but that she knew the line and wouldn't betray his trust, and would talk and be honest with him, but her having carried on a full blown affair for more than a year puts every of these actions in a quite different light.

Frankly, I don't understand how anyone could consider her not self entitled and self centered, selfish and manipulative. She uses DK, who has feelings for her, to make her bf jealous, teasing him about the fact they lived together, knowing the immense pain she had caused him, that he had tolerated her more than year long affair and lies, and begged her to stay, while she abandoned him, only to come back when the relationship with DK didn't pan out (maybe because of the underwear model she mentions?), and picking him up like a pair of old shoes, fully expecting him to be there waiting for her -you cannot take one any more for granted than that-. He takes her back almost immediately, with barely an apology, and she doesn't do anything at all to regain his trust -on the contrary, she still keeps in contact with DK and meets up with him (both with him and his cousin the touchy/feeling part was rather ambiguous, because while his cousin might never come between them, with DK she did have a more than year long affair and lived for two years, so him caressing her, and her letting him, has a whole other meaning). She doesn't set any boundary, either physical or otherwise, despite being aware of it potentially upsetting someone she betrayed for more than a year and abandoned for two, and whose trust she is supposed to rebuild: she asks him whether he is okay with his cousin's flirting and DK, which means she is aware enough to understand that it's something she should probably stop indulging, even if he pretends he is. Just minimal care and consideration for his point of view. For that matter, she herself admits that she is the selfish one, and even just using her ex bf to hurt/make jealous the man she had cheated on with said ex bf means manipulating both.

HS being painted as selfish and manipulative is ludicrous by comparison, which, again, the drama acknowledges. I mean, he put up with her betrayal for more than a year, and took her back basically immediately, and didn't even feel able to be open enough to talk about DK, pretending he was okay while she, being completely inconsiderate, didn't do a single thing to gain back his trust. Him inviting a female friend at the show, in part because she wanted to go, in part as a maybe partially subconscious desire to make YJ not even "jealous", but aware of the fact that she is taking him very much for granted, in response to the DK thing, while not knowing of FL's feelings for him, or his subsequent little one sided mini-crush and small kiss, in no way can be placed on the same plane as her lying to his face for more than a year while seeing DK while she was telling him she was working, and running off with the guy for other two. He was more reactive (meaning that he responded to YJ's actions) and aphazard than calculative or intentionally manipulative. She was very much not: she intentionally deceived him for a year, and used the feelings of the guy she cheated on him with to make his jealous, manipulating both of them (well, for DK I feel little pity, given he was willing to have a more than year long affair with her and then shakes the guy's hands and proposes a project as if nothing had happened). He sleeps with her because he loves her, and then tries to "take it back" because he feels that he has no self respect and self dignity (and yes, he was a chump). He is baffled, rightly, by the fact that his subsequent rejection doesn't phase her, while he was utterly destroyed when she left him. Theirs is not an equal relationship, either in terms of what they did to each other, and in terms of commitment, and he keenly feels that.

To "two wrongs don't make one right", I would reply banality with banality with "turnabout is fair play" or "you reap what you sow", and then challenge the notion that him seeing someone else would be "wrong". In my eyes, you don't owe respect, honesty and loyalty to someone that didn't show you any, and I was 100% in approval of the wives and gfs in shows such as A Good Lawyer's Wife and The Magicians sleeping with other man -their cheating spouses had no right to complain-.

Again, some empaty with someone that was put through unbearable emotional abuse by the traumatic experience of his girlfriend of nine years lying to his face for more than one year, having to beg her and her then picking up and leaving him for two years, and expecting she had any right to come back in his life and get back together with him since she and DK had broken up... self entitlement and taking him for granted to the n-th power. Also some sense of proportions. We are talking about a one sided mini-crush and an unreciprocated small kiss, versus deceiving someone for more than a year and spitting on nine years together, then ignoring his begging to run away with her lover and showing up after two years with barely an apology, while continuing to flirt and continuing to talk and meet up with the man she cheated with in a creepily ambiguous atmosphere, knowing he still had feelings for her.

I saw someone claim that YJ was "mature" and used her femininity to choose her sexual partner and her career. This is hogwash: in terms of the career, she advanced through her talent, not by sleeping with DK, and suggesting the contrary seems to me to be more insulting than an example of female empowerment (on the contrary, it mirrors the sexist trope of the actress sleeping with the guy financing her work to advance her career), as for choosing sexual partners, that's simply factually hogwash as well: in the modern world people freely choose their sexual partners -nobody in the show was in an arranged marriage, afaik- with or without femininity, case in point FL doing so while pretending to be a man. Bottom line, she made her way in the world (male dominated or not -frankly, as a solo artist one struggles to understand why the artistic circle would be more horrible in that respect than a lot of other places, and she just needs to produce good art, not to convince anyone to hire her or not suppress her on the job... and the implication that she would have slept with DK to get ahead makes this take insulting, not an example of female empowerment, so I am baffled at the idea of it being presented in that light, when it would have been the exact opposite: surely, the correct take and the most respectful one of her as a person and a female artist, is to believe that she used her talent and rather than bank on her femininity and sexuality to get ahead) through her talent.

As for "maturity", we are talking about someone that freely admitted to being unfair and selfish but did nothing to change her behavior, that drunk while pregnant, and showed no consideration for the feelings of someone she ghosted for two years after a year long affair, flirting, talking with and having 1-to-1 with her ex she had cheated on her bf with, etc., while doing absolutely nothing to rebuild the trust she had so completely broken. She used her ex, who still had feelings for her, to tease and make jealous, and hurt, the bf she had cheated on with said ex, talking about the house they shared in NY and threatening to leave him for DK and that he loved her and she might start to love him back again. Mature? I think not.

Another person said that artistic circles, particularly public facing ones, make it inevitable YJ cheating and running off while HS was a hermit living outside of town while she was a famous artist in the spotlight. I think that this generalization of artists being unfaithful and untrustworthy, or even particularly promiscuous, doesn't hold water (as any generalization about any group of people, gender, race, religion, etc.). It's in any case not a rockstar with groupies situation, and in SK afaik public figures are expected to be pretty spotless. In addition to that, it's simply false that she was famous when she begun the affair: as her lover said, she was pretty unknown at the time. Plus nobody else in the field seems particularly disloyal or even promiscuous, and if anything it's her bf, not her, that worked with other people (she also does, but she is mainly a solo artist), and he does work in the city -like many rich and famous people who are not hermits, he lives outside of town, a perfectly normal thing to do and not an indication of being socially isolated: he has a car-. And she herself said that she run off with DK because she loved him, not because she was a small girl in a bigger world and thought she could upgrade her bf with a rich fop. HS also had plenty of occasions to cheat -not a hermit-, he simply was in love with her and didn't even drink coffee with any of them-.

Someone said that she was the most self aware and admitted her flaws... that's not really correct, she gaslighted and pressured her bf and gave him no space, leaving and making it seem as if it was to give him freedom, while as she later admitted she just wanted to have her pride hurt if he left her. And in any case, admitting that her bf was selfless and forgave her more than year long cheating, and took her back after she dropped him like a pair of old shoes and then came back demanding to be his gf again, and to be selfish and inconsiderate herself, but doing nothing at all to change or even attempt to rebuild the trust she shattered.

She literally just had to show up and not to abandon him again despite his begging, and only when she was at the airport she realized that she was seeing the mote in one's brother's eye but not the beam in one's own, and that if we were keeping score in terms of the damage she did they were at a billion to one. In general, if you acknowledge you are an a-hole and don't do anything to change, you are still an a-hole. I cannot even say "at least she is not a hypocrite" with confidence. I mean, in one sense she was not, but in another sense, she held her bf to a much, much higher standard than she held herself, and was not willing to extend him the same grace: a blatant double standard. She could take him to task about FL before he even kissed her, but he couldn't be confident to talk to her about DK and had to pretend everything was fine?

She also doesn't get any props for not being jealous of FL, because the latter was not interested in her boyfriend and she was never a threat, while she had a more than year long affair with DK and abandoned her begging bf for him, only to come back two years later when that relationship didn't pan out. The situation with the FL is exactly the same as the bit with his cousin, in that they are not a threat (and the flirting with the cousin and leading him on was something that went on for years).

I found the banter at the end disturbing: the way she minimized and talked flippantly about him being the victim of her betrayal (which lasted more than one year, after which she ran away for two, and came buck asking to be his gf while keeping contact with her ex lover she had cheated on her bf with, talking with him on the phone and meeting up one-on-one while letting some quite creepy/ambiguous touching happen: in some way worse than indulging/flirting with the cousin, given that the latter would never come between them, but DK did come between her and her bf and she cheated on and abandoned the latter with him), and about being self conscious about DK and having his pride hurt (legitimate, among other things... also the broken trust and relationship... let's not forget she threatened to leave him for DK because her pride wouldn't take him leaving her). Considering the fact that he knew of the more than year long affair and she run away from him while he begged her to stay, leaving for two years, and she is still in contact with him, talking and meeting up one-on-one when DK still had feelings for her, and he was not comfortable telling her about it, but had to pretend that he was okay with it... are we sure he should be mocked for opening up about the fact he hates the guy? Particularly considering the pain he expressed just recently when he brought up the cheating at the side of the road to the airport, and the fact that she used DK to make him jealous and threatened to leave with him, saying he had feelings for her and she might also start to reciprocate again. It's clear that this is "joking" like the joking they did about his budding feelings for FL, meaning that it's not really joking, but she treats her past betrayal, and almost-leaving with DK, in a completely flippant manner.

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For all those saying that it's insane for her to have been mistaken for a guy by everyone, I disagree. Unless someone is actively looking to see a particular gender, I completely believe that anyone looking would assume she's a guy. Unlike most dramas where a female lead is trying to pass for male, she didn't do the whole awkward "Look at me, dude, man, bro, I'm totally a guy, just... look at my... Um... I can spit far and fart! See? I'm a guy!"
Instead she just kind of lived life. Like, other than binding, she didn't exactly go out of her way to convince anyone of anything. She didn't change her speech, behavior, or anything like that. She held herself in a way which girls get called out for all the time for being too boyish, and she had a haircut that didn't just look like a girl wearing a bad wig. Do I think the ML wasn't straight? Yes, I don't think he would conceivably have fallen for her as a guy otherwise, especially considering he was wholly attracted to her and wanted to go farther while under the impression she was male. Buuut sexuality's a spectrum and I applaud the character for coming to terms with his attraction to a guy in the first place, and for the side characters being supportive and all that jazz.
I have rewatched this multiple times and will likely watch it multiple more times. I genuinely love the acting in this and how for once in a drama the FL doesn't go over the top dramatic in her "I'm Totally a Dude" shtick and instead just continues to act naturally as just a bit of a rough girl. Anyone who says she's obviously a girl is only saying that because they know her, because I guarantee if you saw her looking like that in public you'd either assume she's a guy or at least stop to question her gender. It's only obvious she's female to the viewers who know or know the actress from other works where she presents as more feminine.

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One of the more famous kdramas, lots of adaptations

Overall, the drama was well crafted for the times. I feel that many aspects would have been dealt with more in depth in more recent productions (and probably there was more than enough material for each couple to warrant its own series).

Regarding YJ took much more than she gave back. She was incredibly possessive by comparison and blew her fuse over his one sided mini-clush and one small unreciprocated kiss (no tongue), considering it an incredible affront that he would ever even look at another girl with affection or read her messages (which were really just platonic) when she wasn't looking. Which I could have accepted and taken seriously had she been a paragon of virtue, but in the context of her having deceived HS by telling him she was working while she had been seeing DK behind his back for more than a year, only to later run away with the guy for two years without another word, not to mention continuing to talk with DK on the phone and see DK one on one and have lunch with him still being smitten with her and trying to hit on her, and HS having just taken her back. Not sure in what universe HS should count himself lucky to have YJ around: someone so self entitled and self absorbed that she repeatedly reduces someone she claims to love to a groveling, begging mess. Is she proud to have "won" that way, to have spared her pride the potential bruised ego of having him leave her?

She was factually speaking, and by her own admission, utterly manipulative. If the husband in World of the Married had tried to be half as manipulative as to threaten the spouse she cheated on with running back to his lover absolutely nobody would be justifying that behaviour or rooting for him: there is nuance, and then there is sociopathic callousness and cruelty that frankly goes beyond simply being self serving. I do have to agree with her assessment that she is not a particularly good or nice person (to use a euphemism), and hopefully HS's cousing doesn't know the whole story of the more than year long lies and deception, or of her using DK, the man she had cheated with for more than one year, to make HS jealous -I can't recall if she explicitly told HS's cousing that she was going back to DK, maybe she only mentioned leaving HS again to go to NY, since she also had a job there, so not sure if he was up to date with all the details, not that her getting back together with DK would have stayed hidden from him had she actually gone through with it, as she almost did, given that she is famous and the press would have reported it-, but even with just what he knew, it's safe to say that he would have to be either blind or an idiot to form that opinion. The dynamic of the betrayed wife taking the husband back in, say, World of the Married and other dramas, is truly repulsive. If the parts are inverted, it does not get any less repulsive. For that matter, I feel the same way about FL's sister's cheating boyfriend, he too was pure scum, if he didn't like her behaviour he ought to have either talked to her or left her, not two timed her, since she didn't do it to him. She should never have stayed with him. Meanwhile, ML can be a playboy and hit on YJ half the drama, and the snowflake can supposedly not take his gf having been given a little kiss by HS, without reciprocating, before they were even in a relationship? I mean, what is the standard here? True fact: if FL had put him through a fraction of a billionth of what YJ put HS through, ML wouldn't be with her now. So I wouldn't exactly call HS being with YJ a success.

YJ brought up the fact that his begging didn't stop her leaving the first time, and wouldn't stop her now... could she be any more hurtful? How could one believe her previous half uttered apology when HS took her back when she then treats the matter with such flippancy, mocks and makes light of his insecurities, only to exploit them when convenient, by parading DK in front of him and reminding him that she had lived with the guy for two years in NY after leaving HS after more than a year of seeing DK behind his back. The more I think about it, the more sociopathic and messed up YJ's behavior appears... and I must admit that I have difficulty reconciling her current image with someone that would. I starting thinking about what would be enough to convince HS to leave YJ... I must say that I couldn't come up with an answer, and I don't think that this is a good sign. At that point, one's relationship cannot be any more unequal, given what her reaction was, and her factually speaking much more pronounced inclination to just pick up and leave... Frankly, I kind of wish she is right in guessing that he might have left her (the reason she almost chose to pre-empt this by leaving him again for DK), because otherwise this level of dependence where he will pine on her no matter what she does -waiting for her for years... what would have happened had her and DK not broken up? He would still be waiting, and telling himself some fatalistic lie about the special nature of a relationship in which he had been deceived for more than a year, before she run away with her lover and he never heard from her again for two years, and she always treated him as a doormat that would always be there at her back and call if she needed him, taking him absolutely for granted and blowing the fuse when he gave any indication he might possible love someone else other than her, while admitting that loved DK at the time... but let's not enumerate her flaws because we would be still her by the time the Sun dies-.

On the topic of YJ almost running back to the man she had cheated with, DK, and the reasoning she gave for why she didn't, while I appreciated the fact that she came back because she realized how messed up leaving and getting back together with DK would have been given how much worse HS had endured for her sake, I must say that I wished she had also given the reason that she didn't love DK and loved HS instead. Because she did say that she was starting to love DK back, but it was, I suppose, a lie to hurt HS, but then she talked to DK on the phone and they met up alone and had lunch together and there was certainly some tension/banter/ambiguous vibe, not helped by the fact that he was trying to get back with her, and she didn't really put a stop to it in a strong manner, but rather indulged him and gave clever little replies. So I really, really would have liked some clarification on whether she would have really ended up with the man she had cheated on HS with had she gone back to NY for the job, and what it means in terms of her feelings for DK -because he seemed aware of the fact that she was using him and loved HS... what does that mean? That they would have been getting together despite her not loving him and loving HS? Again, I would have liked much more clarity about DK, and I guess HS would have as well: she said she loved him when she run away with him, what about now? She said he loved her and she was starting to reciprocate, but the context made one think that it was said to egg HS on, and after all she had used DK by putting them in the same room and bringing up the topic of their house in NY where she had lived with DK for two years after the more than year long period where she was seeing him behind HS's back when she was still with HS, and on the other hand the fact that HS seemed unavailable seemed to mean she loved him more than before-.

On DK, I don't know if it's anthipathy or new sensibilities, but the conflict of interest in him being her patron and sleeping with her does make him feel a bit sleazy. But maybe it's something that was considered more normal in 2007, and in any case I am probably nitpiking because I don't really like the guy. Obviously, I am not giving him all the fault of the affair, because ultimately YJ is her own woman, responsible for her actions, and she was the one that chose to lie to HS for more than a year instead than treating him with a shred of respect and honesty, breaking things off clearly. She was the one that knew fully well how much he loved and trusted her, and that should have been honest with him about the situation instead of deceiving him, either not seeing DK behind his back if had it not been a serious interest, or, if she loved DK at the time like she claimed was the case, breaking up cleanly with HS instead of deceiving him for more than a year. So I am not claiming that she was "stolen" as if she was someone's car, with no say in the matter: she is solely responsible for her actions and choices. But DK did make the decision to put himself in the middle of an established couple, basically not caring that he would end up hurting someone he didn't knew and that never did anything to him (or at least not caring enough not to do it: with him as with YJ what matters in what, when push came to shove, they ended up doing and choosing, which clearly reveal their priorities, priorities that, let's keep it real, in either case being entirely self serving).

Again, the issue here is the fact that he participated in the more than year long deception, not that YJ fell in love with him and chose to break up with HS. That would have been the decent thing to do from the beginning, lying to him and treating him like a fool for more than a year was a deliberate choice they did, so he was the kind of scumbag that would walk all over people he didn't even know, and that had done him nothing wrong, in order to get what he wanted. In the end, the "what ifs", the "if he had not been there it would have been someone else", the "it's not me that had been in a nine years long relationship with the guy", are all excuses: for any bad thing one might do in the world, from over-polluting because "everyone does it" (not really, in any case it doesn't mean you should do it) to a vegan never being unable to bring themselves to be a butcher despite the fact that somebody would do it if they didn't (okay, but it matters, should matter to you anyway, that you are the one doing it, at the end of the day, if it's hurting something or someone you care about, in the case of pollution the environment, in the case of the vegan animals, in the case of DK a guy that never did anything to him), bottom line, *he* was the one that YJ ended up meeting behind HS's back for more than a year, he knew he was deceiving someone that had never done anything wrong to him, and didn't care at all, or certainly not enough not to do it. Bottom line, and coming back to the golden rule, it comes back to treating others like you would like to be treated: DK wouldn't want someone to think about the situation like he does if he was on the receiving end, and neither would YJ (as we later saw, she blew her fuse for much, much, muuuuuch less). So he shouldn't really complain when the poetic justice of YJ using his feelings to make HS jealous comes around. Toxic, the both of them.

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Nice view, would have appreciated some more detail ond 2nd couple

Overall I liked the story.

I accept it's a trope and I wasn't bothered, but ML got much less flack than SML probably on account of being hot, despite being the kind of overbearing and brash rich playboy that ought to have driven such ire, even flirting with his cousin's gf, plus the whole thing with the kiss, where he can be a player but it's expected that his gf having been kissed (indeed, she is a virgin, antother trope) -and not even reciprocating- before they got together would have bothered him. Frankly, no need to bring it up if he doesn't ask, just as his previous experiences, but not something he should be lied about if he does ask -now, if this was cheating during the relationship then she should bring it up, but it's another case-.

I believe in general that "doing it for the other person" is utterly self serving and blatantly untrue -the person in question is the only one with the right to decide what's good for them, and you cannot pretend to care while carrying on an affair and lying to their faces, you are doing this for you, and at the end of the day whatever your motivation, it matters more to you than giving your partner a modicum of loyalty, respect and honesty, and breaking things off without deceiving them-.

Again, I got the feeling that it was reflective of HS's, the SML's, pain at the betrayal he had to suffer through for more than a year, but in reality imho he is better off knowing, and ultimately only the person him/herself can decide what's good for them, it's not a call the one that did wrong is entitled to make -with the excuse of "wanting to protect" and "doing for your own good", oftentimes it's self serving, and you even get to feel noble to keep the secret rather than reveal it to unburden yourself... outta here with that hogwash-.

Overall I would have liked more details on the background of the second lead's relationship and cheating/running off/running back again (why? what prompted the change of heart, then and now?). The cheating was hidden until the end (and not shown in flashbacks, conveniently and somewhat unbelievably focusing only on happy moments without thinking about her with DK during the tormenting more than year long betrayal, etc.). I felt kind of manipulated by the cheating reveal happening late (I assumed that she had just dumped him), but it was probably done for shock value -though it's then kind of swept under the rug- and possibly so that it would be late enough in the game that the viewer is already committed to the pairing.

I found YJ entirely self entitled and with no sense of perspective, and entirely focused on her feelings while ignoring her bf's. He confesses to knowing of her more than year long betrayal and demeaning himself to uselessly beg her to stay, and she ignores the show-stopping fact that he knew of her lies and proceed to ask how could she love someone else after all that (the question should be the exact opposite: how could he love *her* after all that, and in what universe does she think she is even remotely worth it, let alone entitled to, as she seems to believe, him giving her a second chance and wanting to be with her, given her past -and present, for that matter- behavior), and talk about her feeling pathetic for him watching a message when she was not looking? After lying to him for more than a year and him forgiving her, and demeaning himself to beg her to stay, then and now, when she used the man she cheated with to threaten him and make him jealous, saying he loves her still and she might start to reciprocate again? She has the gall to talk about broken trust after lying to his face for more than a year, and leaving for two, then coming back expecting everything to be the same and for him to still be in love with her and only her, without doing anything to rebuild the trust *she* had broken, and worst yet, she was basically right, i.e. he took her back, begged her to stay a second time, and all she did to get his love and trust was just stay there and not leave? Even in the end, the admission that she left because her pride wouldn't allow her to tolerate him leaving her... after he swallowed his pride to ignore her year long deception and cheating, her leaving with another man for two years, and continuing to talk with and meet up with the man she cheated with, and him pretending he was okay with it and shaking the guy's hand as if nothing had happened, and having to play along as she mocks him with hurt pride, mocks his understandable insecurities she just recently exploited, intentionally, to make him jealous... she knew very well the effect the man had on him, and didn't care to extend any consideration even when she was the one that was supposedly trying to get back together with the ex she had betrayed and was supposed to act to rebuild trust, which she never did.

Frankly, him staying around and waiting for her, and having no other experience other than the aborted unrequited mini-crush that he got so much grief on (utterly unfairly, considering the context -they are about a billion to one-) was unrealistic, as is him having flashbacks only of the good times when he carries this much pain about her more than year long betrayal: we are not show those memories, which realistically he should have had, because then we would have had to consider the fact that he really has no reason whatsoever to pine after her, when basically anyone else (or nobody: better alone than in bad company) would have been a better choice, having never betrayed him in such a manner. Her threatening to leave him with DK, who still loved her, and using the latter to make him jealous, only staying when she realized the absurd unfairness of her behavior, but even then not waiting for him and giving him space as he did, but turning back when he begged her to stay -so still pressuring him into compliance rather than giving him space-, as well as her attitude of considering him having a mini crush on the same level as her more than year long betrayal and running away for two year, only coming back when he broke up with DK, and having the gall to talk about trust and feeling pitiful and pride, when he was so humiliated and was basically lacking any self respect and self dignity, debasing himself to beg, at the time and now... to use DK to make him jealous and threaten to leave with him to force a decision was sociopathically self entitled.

Frankly I am flabbergasted by Yoo-joo’s attitude. She seems to truly believe she can cheat on, neglect, and mistreat Han-sung and he will always be there for her. Unfortunately for him, he got so much flack for this unrequited mini-crush (especially when you consider that all he did was send a few charming smiles her way and sneak one teeny tiny kiss), despite having forgiven his girlfriend's more than a year long betrayal still being not only willing, but begging, to stay with her at the end of it... he has to beg and grovel for her to get over his momentary interest in someone else, begging her to not leave for DK once again.

The more than a year of cheating changed everything for me, the flirting, the cousin, and keeping in contact with the man she dumped HS, as well as the lack of any consideration for HS's feelings and his lack of comfort sharing what he felt wrt DK (with good reason, given she is impatient and mocks him, which he plays along with, playing it cool, while still feeling disturbed... it's not good he cannot open up, and they didn't talk about her cheating and then running off at all, or the reason for the breakup, all things that should have realistically been part of rebuilding trust, and yet it seems that the fact he pines after her and her not leaving should fix everything she had broken in and of themselves... no, broken trust and psychological damage is not fixed like that, otherwise people would choose to flip a switch and be okay, and nobody would need therapy)... they turned from HS' insecurities for being dumped and her sassy attitude within the limits, to something much more sinister, considering she *did* cheat for a year and lie to his face, so he knows she is capable of not being honest with him and backstab him. I feel that the writers put off the reveal to such a later date because then people would be "invested" enough to ignore it, which was largely the case.

All in all, I must say YJ and HS's relationship did seem unequal, with him not even drinking coffee with other girls while she flirted and talked on the phone and met up with the man she cheated on him with, with plenty of rather inappropriate touching with cousin and DK, both of which were in love with her, and one of which did come between her and her boyfriend, leading to more than a year of cheating and her running off with him for two years. Also, two different standards, where she is not willing to give even a fraction of what HS did, and is triggered and complains of trust and pride and pathetic when he was put through a billion times worse (while he was not even reciprocated after his small kiss). They were not equal in their actions, nor in what they were willing to give the other. Verbally she says she loves him more than him does her, and that she is equally triggered by his mini-crush, both claims leaving someone somewhat in disbelief, because she didn't really do anything to show it (nor did he really require her to... when he asked for space, she threatened to leave him for DK, again, and then she almost did -in any case abandoning him for a few days-, then he was beaten into submission and asked her not to go), and because even if true, it's on one hand nice to see her jealous and finally not taking HS for granted, because it means she cares, but on the other hand it's similar to the sexist, unequal situation where you have a philandering husband having plenty of affairs, and when his wife looks at another man he divorces her on the spot. He was willing to wait for her, she was not.

I particularly hated the bit about her cooking kimchi and doing house chores (which they are both more than rich enough to delegate), because like in This Week My Wife Is Having An Affair this seemed to be missing the point: this is like a nice car without engine, if you are dealing with someone lacking loyalty, honesty and that betrayed your trust, the fact that they cook for you is both besides the point and an insulting notion (are you really telling me that I am supposed to be "won over" by such a cheap tactic). It's not a substitute for loyalty, respect and honesty. I would have very much preferred to see her do something to rebuild trust (not that I think it would be possible in reality, and not that it is necessary in the drama: she just shows up and he takes her back, but it would have been nice to see her at least try, while she does absolutely nothing to rebuild trust or address his very valid fears, concerns, insecurities, resentments, which swept under the rugs or made the object of ridicule -insultingly comparing more than a year of lies and running off for two without another word, even after he begged him, to a one sided mini-crush that ended before it even begun, and a small one sided kiss-, and he has to play along), or refraining from doing something that further destroyed it (like flirting or talking to/meeting up with one one one with a still smitten ex-lover that she had cheated with, and that despite protestations to the contrary HS clearly had issues with and for good reason -and she knows it, otherwise she wouldn't have used him to make him jealous, nor she would have bothered to ask if he had an issue: she knows, and she knows she cheated with him for more than a year and run away for two, and that the guy is still holding a candle for her, and not only is she aware of this fact, but exploits it, and indulges his flirting/touching which was not really appropriate given the context of the cheating... again, before I could chalk it up to being sassy and her being inconsiderate or naive, but the "make him jealous" part and the way she teases HS clearly shows she knows he has an issue with DK and for good reason ("strange to hear you say something nice about DK", etc.-). Hard to see care or a desire to rebuild trust.

In terms of that part, I was kind of disappointed to see HS object to the working overnight and drinking, but not to the cooking and housework, while she was pregnant. The bit about him working and drinking was nonsensical, really, because there is a clear difference: he is not pregnant. Sure, it woulad be nice for him to abstain as well in solidarity, but particularly the drinking is something that she does not need to do, professionally, and that is obviously hurtful to the child (I don't know if this is something about the time period or place, but in the drama they do mention that the doctor made that clear to them, and there was a scene were she was about to drink and refrained, prior to the night of drinking with the coworkers). It made the miscarriage all the more horrible, because one couldn't help but wonder.

Wish I had more context about her affair with DK, why she left and why she is now back. She claimed to love DH. Did she love him more than HS? Did she stop loving HS? How could she deceive him? Why has she suddenly chosen to come back to him? What changed? If she jumped back in my life after not seeing her for two years (plus more than a year of betrayal) I would have been very curious to get some answers to those questions, they should have certainly discussed the DK elephant in the room more. And she should have tried to rebuild trust or done anything to convey that she cared that was not about her (as running away was), but rather about fighting to have HS in her life because it mattered to her (as he did by taking her back and begging her twice). But he did not require any convincing, and he was "scared straight" by the threat of her leaving him for DK, the man she had cheated with (something that ought to have given her pause and elicit some sort of guilt, but she barely apologized, and it's not clear to me whether it was for running off or for the affair, and whether she knew he knew at the beginning of the drama... she does not comment on it, but it's really not something that should be treated as her just dumping him, because lying to someone for over a year, systematically, has very different implication about basic respect, honesty, etc. and changes things). Why did she come back? Was it because DK cheated with the "underwear model"? But he still loves her? Was she the one that realized she didn't love him and loved HS? But she did say that she did love DK when she run off with him. This is something that not only I want to know, but that HS should have wanted to know as well, to understand what is going on.

The actors claimed that at the time they didn't get YJ and HS's relationship (from what I have seen they don't say that they get it now, but I might be mistaken). At 34, I would say that I don't really "get" it in terms of "look at this enlightment and wishdom I get because I am so mature", but I do get what is going on, and frankly this was the emotional abuse equivalent of a wife beating drunk persuading/gaslighting the battered housewife with stockholm syndrome to get back together. It's not realistic for him to pine after her for years and not ever pursue anything besides a still born romance, and take her back with such minimal attention to pain, physchological damage, insecurities, broken trust -it's brought up in episodes, as in This Week My Wife Is Having An Affair, and frankly even less, given that he takes her back immediately and when she threatens to leave him for DK again, impossibly he begs her to stay and it erases his thoughts about other women, rather than reaffirm them given the sociopathic cruelty of such an ultimatum to manipulate him and make him jealous, in light of the affair... again, nice that she was jealous, because she cares, but also chilling that she would do such a move to twist his arm-. I wish they had made her simply dump him. The fact that she lied to his face for more than a year when she was seeing DK behind his back is frankly the hardest part to square with the claim that she loves him more than he loves her..

I mean, how could she not see how much she had hurt and humiliated him, how miraculous him being willing to give her another chance was, and how she has not felt even a billionth of a fraction of what she had put him through, over more than a year of lying and then abandoning him for two years and coming back and upending his life, expecting him to have waited and take her back, when she was not willing to do even a fraction of that for him... and yet, the flirting she didn't stop, the ambiguity with DK, etc., which all take a very different meaning and light considering she didn't just dump HS, but cheated on him for more than a year. The intimacy and caresses from someone than loved her, and contrary to HS's cousin, had an affair with her while they were still together for more than a year, before YJ run off to NY for two.

When she mentions trust, pathetic, pride, etc.. over him reading a message? How could she not also think about the billions of times worse humiliations he had endured, his suffering over more than a year of affair and lying, her running off for two years and disappearing from his life despite his begging... Without a sociopathic level of shamelessness and self entitlement/self centeredness, it's impossible to understand how she could say this with a straight face, and while it's good that she feels jealous because at least she cares, it's also unjust and completely insane that she has no sense of perspective and does not acknowledge, or even think of, how much worse he must have felt given what she had subjected him to, and for how long.

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To orchestrate such a well-rounded drama back in the days is unbelievable

Hats off to the drama's soundtrack compilation which I give at least 40% of the credit this drama is my all-time fav. With an excellent OST album full of k-indies, there is no denying that (yes, the storyline and staff did their job well but) the music sets the mood ready to dine in the quirky, upbeat and heartfelt human interactions of the whole drama. The decision to utilize indie bands as extensively as it did is still not a common choice in kdramas. I love (love) that this drama introduces a lot of concepts that were neglected in asian series back then(can you believe it's 13 years ago)! It portrays romance that surpasses gender and also independent and career-oriented women from a medium that everyone can enjoy. Believe me, as much as I would like to write a 2000 word essay of the good points of this drama, I'll just leave it here by saying Coffee prince just ages like a fine wine! I've watched it at least 3 times throughout the years and found the characters still relevant (some characters like Han YooJoo even more so now than ever). I for one easily put coffee prince in my top 5 kdramas out of thousands of dramas I've watched.

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Taking into account when it was made, it's phenomenal and ahead of its time

ADVICE: If you can step back and put yourself in 2007, this Drama was a big deal for the time and is quite beautiful. I only watched it for the first time this last year, but I made sure to not judge the script and story based on today's values. That said, watching it through the lens of today, I can understand why some people have a big problem with the premise and the female main character's actions. In a time when being gay almost anywhere in the world wasn't only dangerous but also stigmatized and perhaps even classified as a mental illness, the journey of the ML is a fascinating one, and an important one. I think, for me, it allowed me to understand why so many non-straight people really struggle with their sexuality.

But, obviously, the FML isn't a man, thus the story's direction and conflict change direction and become about her duplicity, which is fine / makes sense, but it splits the drama into two different shows. For me, this change without real resolution for Choi Han Gyul's first / internal conflict felt like a bit of a letdown, if I'm honest. Looking at the show through the lens of today, I wished the show would've explored Choi Han Gyul's realization that romantic love (for him) isn't limited by gender. He fell in love with the person first, not their gender. Admittedly, the show draws this conclusion without stating it explicitly, but I think it moved on too fast. Which is fine, I guess. But I wanted the ML and FL to have the conversation, "I fell in love with you. And I would love you if you were a man or a woman or non-binary, because it's you." That would've been a powerful message for people to see and hear and be exposed to.

I also have to call out Gong Yoo and the way he *looks at* his FML in his dramas once the character is in love with them. Cheese and crackers, this guy and his looks. I don't know how he does it, but it's like something within him flips a switch and, when he gazes at the FML's character, it's all heat and desire. How does he do that?

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Delightful drama, lead chemistry unmatched

The first romance kdrama I watched and it set the bar high. Despite it's age, the dorky y2k hairstyles, and low production value, it is 100% worth experiencing the amazing storyline and acting. Everything feels more natural and the story can be experienced more authentically without the fancy VFX of our times used to overcompensate for bland writing.

I was honestly iffy during the first half of the season because it does drag (hence the 9 rating). And some of the characters behave in ways that are... very frustrating. Relationships between them are various types of toxic. But there is payoff – thankfully their arcs are written well enough so that their journeys of self-reflection ultimately remedy this to an extent (for a piece of lighthearted fiction, at least). The character development for the ML esp is well done – slowly transforming from insufferable, toxic, hot-tempered asshole to someone who is more empathetic and understanding. Together the leads are adorable, endearing and the chemistry is genuine and incredible. But it does take a while to get there.

Supporting cast is also great. The second leads have a more complex and confusing storyline that slows the pace of the drama, but they present an interesting contrast to the struggles of Eun Chan as well as some commentary on society's evolving gender dynamics/expectations of the time. The princes are annoying at times but also hilarious. Surprisingly I was quite emotionally invested in all of them by the end. I do wish they gave us a longer epilogue.

Since watching Coffee Prince, I haven't found a romance since that hits the same way. Sigh I guess they don't make them like this anymore

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Une petite douceur

Voilà un drama qui m’a vraiment fait passer un bon moment, même si l’histoire en elle même et les histoires secondaires ne sont pas très recherchées.

Gong Yoo est toujours un bonheur à découvrir- et chapeau à Yoon Eun Hye qui joue magnifiquement cette femme garçon manqué.
Leur histoire est complexe au départ, le lead féminine se retrouve vite empêtré dans ses mensonges.
Quand à Gong Yoo, il est ultra touchant dans le rôle de cet homme qui lutte contre ses sentiments et lui même pensant que cette femme est un homme.

Les rôles secondaires sont aussi tour à tour drôle et touchants. Je ne me suis pas ennuyée et j’ai vraiment passé un joli moment, et ai été ravie de découvrir Gong Yoo plus jeune.

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Nice conflicts

Nice conflicts.

In terms of the sincerity of YJ's half uttered apology, one thing that I would very much like to know is whether it was meant for leaving him, or for lying to his face for more than a year and seeing DK behind his back. Was the the one that confessed it, or did he discover it on his own? I must say that if she asked him to take her back without telling him it would be pretty damning, in terms of deprieving him of the ability to make an informed decision.

Another aspect, of course, is why is she back now. She didn't call for two years, and now she is back and only now utters the apology. If she and DK had not broken up, would she have gone to HS and apologized? So her feeling sorry and apologizing depends on the success of her relationship with DK? Or did she decide that she was in love with HS and broke up with DK because of that (or did DK cheat with the underwear model?)? And if she was not in love with HS, does that mean that she shouldn't come clean to him about the betrayal, or not apologize? Not that we know what happened. And does she regret the cheating? Or following DK to NY? She still says she run off with him because she was in love with him. Does she regret it now? Both or just the lying for more than one year part? And would she regret it had things worked out between her and DK?

All this makes it pretty difficult to gauge what she is feeling sorry for, exactly, and the fact that she is apologizing now that they have broken up, but didn't bother to say a word to HS for two whole years does make it pretty difficult to understand the sincerity and value of the half uttered apology. Her subsequent behaviour, even with respect to DK, does further call into question her feelings on the matter, because would someone that genuinely feels guilt about what they did to HS really diminish and mock his insecurities, or use DK to make HS jealous and threaten to leave him for DK again, or brush aside the pain of HS knowing about her seeing DK behind his back for more than a year, or throw in his face the fact that she left him because she loved DK and followed her heart, and he couldn't stop her even by begging, just like he couldn't stop her now, or make lights of her betrayal and HS's feelings towards DK with that horrible joke scene at the end, where he was forced to play along in half disbelief, which reminded me of the "jokes" they made around his attraction to FL?

In short, what is she sorry for, and would she be making this apology if she was still with DK? She didn't talk to HS in two years while they were together, after all. Not feeling sorry and/or not feeling the need to apologize until things were going well? Or to say a word to him for two years? Only discovering she felt sorry and wanted to apologize now that she wants a to rekindle the relationship with HS, and not even leading with that, not touching upon the topic after the half uttered apology when he had already let his in the house? A sincere apology would have related to her lack of honesty (and she would have come clean about it certainly before asking HS to take her back, not that I am asserting she did not as we are not told), and would have been independent from whether things with DK went well or she wanted to be with HS again, and it should have probably happened two years ago, not now that she and DK have broken up and she wants to get back with HS. I mean, no to appear too skeptical of her sincerity, because we know very little about the circumstances (and I wish the should would have elaborated) and we don't even know why she broke up with DK (maybe because she felt she wanted HS instead? And contrary to what she did to HS, she didn't want to deceive DK for some reason, so he extended him a courtesy she didn't extend to HS for more than a year?), but her not saying a word to HS and then coming back with a half uttered apology two years later when she wants him back does seem more than a little self serving.

Frankly, I felt the same way I felt with the wife in My Mister... where basically the apology happened only when things with her lover didn't pan out and she learned that DH had discovered her betrayal. Had none of those things happened, there would have been no regret/apology. Same thing for This Week My Wife Is having an Affair's case, honestly, where it felt perfunctory and too little too late. They felt similarly self serving.

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Nice show

Nice show.

With YJ, the bizzarre thing is that I had more questions about her behavior and doubts about the sincerity and timing of her apology that apparently HS had, given that he called her out on very little of it, and even then dropped the matter afterwards. On one hand, the claim that she is sorry and loves him, on the other hand, the timing of the apology (now that she has broken up with DK and wants to get back to HS after not a word for two years... had things gone different with DK would HS never heard from her again? No apology or anything of the sort?

Seems a little suspicious in terms of the timing that she would suddenly discover she feels enough regret that she wants to apologize, right after she and DK broke up and she wants to get back with HS. But the irritating thing is that we are not given critical information such as whether she did leave DK because she was in love with HS. But then again, this is a different question from her feeling the need to apologize to HS... I would have feeling guilt eat away at me in an intolerable manner if I had deceived my partner of almost ten years that I know loves me completely, it wouldn't have come two years later (it's even unclear whether she knew he was aware of the more than year long deception when she asked him to take her back, and if she knew he was not it would be frankly an appalling information to withhold, but again, maybe she didn't hide it from him, we are simply not told).

I mean, not a word in two years, and suddenly she is both apologizing and asking to get back together? What is going on? Is she feeling sorry because she wants HS back, and wouldn't have felt the need to apologize otherwise? She apparently didn't provide such an apology, nor any other word, while she was in NY with her lover for the past two years. It does all seem rather self serving and all too convenient, and in HS's case I would have more than a little trust issue and question for her. Not that the show provides much information for one to form a complete picture (we hear about a certain underwear model when she talks to DK and he asks about the musician, but it's not clear if it was DK's rebound after they broke up, we don't know why they broke up, specifically who broke up with who, though DK apparently has feelings for her and she does not for him, but apparently loves HS and want to get back to him instead, while HS's cousin basically puts it in a way that makes it seem like she has broken up with DK explicitly to get back with HS... but then again, apologizing for lying to HS for more than a year is something that should have been done years ago, and should have been independent from the question of whether she loved him or not, yet it's not even clear whether she knew HS knew, or whether she even come clean about the more than year long deception, though we know that he had discovered it was going on in the more than one year where she was seeing DK behind his back, so HS had discovered it beforehand in any case, at a time where she was still convinced she was successfully fooling him when she lied to his face every day... though I must say, the way she brushes that aside when he agonizingly brings it up does undercut her half uttered apology from the first episodes... again, as a viewer I was second guessing her more than HS did, and had far more question about the whole situation).

One horrific thing about the situation is that HS basically didn't hear a word from her for two years, and yet had to routinely hear about her romantic life with the guy she had been seeing behind his back for more than one year, before running off with said guy to NY, from the press. She is a celebrity, it's unavoidable.

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Nice work

Overall, a nice drama

With 2nd lead storyline, one thing I wish they had focused more on was the bombshell dropped on the side of the streets on the way to the airport that HS knew and put up with YJ seeing DK behind his back for more than a year before running off with him. This to me changes things considerably, and I really, really wished that they had discussed the issue further.

To be honest, if she had only dumpted him, while painful, it would have probably been the best option had she decided that she didn't love him anymore and she loved someone else. It would have meant she had been honest and upfront, and the feel I got up until that point was flirty/sassy but fundamentally honest.

I tend to be the opposite of jealous and so I would not be disturbed in the abstract by the flirting or meeting the ex, even on-on-one, in the general case it could be a sign of the strength of their trust and the honesty in the relationhsip. However, context does matter, and if you add the fact that she had dumped him all of a sudden and not seen him for two years, things get a little creepier. If you then add the fact that she run away with said ex, and that he still has feelings for her (and, might I add, gets touchy/feely/pretty intimate -she allows him to pat her on the head, etc., puts up with his flirting and only cleverly shoots back, doesn't set up clear boundaries... this is more disturbing than allowing teh cousing to rest his head on her shoulder or lap, because the cousin never came between her and her bf, while DK did-). There is also the fact that even if she had not cheated, HS basically saw her walk out of the door without a second word, and then come back two years later, so he would have some trust issue/insecurity regardless, so it does seem inappropriate and insensitive, particularly when she is supposed to rebuild said trust (if at all possible, which is not a given).

But the fact that she actually lied to his face for more than a year before running off with her lover changes everything. In light of that, her behaviour is completely insane, the baseline of trust is very much not there, because she broke said trust, and "inappropriate" does not even begin to cover it -DK is not only the person that she run off with, but the person that she was with behind HS's back while telling the latter she was working. That's a completely different thing that dumping. Dumping essentially means being honest and upfront about her feelings and telling him he doesn't want to be together anymore, and it's the opposite of cheating (I find the notion of thought crime ludicrous, and think that everyone is allowed their fantasies, see non-jealous part above... but on the thought crime part I am dead serious: you cannot control your feelings for someone, if you don't love a person anymore and love someone else, the only two options are backstabbing your partner or leaving them, and as unpleasant as it is, at least it's honest and respectful -you treat them with dignity rather than humiliating them and treating them like a fool, or putting your own convenience ahead of basic respect and honesty in a completely self serving manner-). It's the respectful and decent thing to do. Lying to HS's face for more than a year is something else entirely.

The way she reacted to a little one-sided mini-crush with a one-sided small kiss makes the whole thing even more absurd: he is taken to task for his feelings (not really for the kiss), which frankly approaches the "thought crime" part, and the context very much matters: she might have a leg to stand on if she had not lied to his face for more than a year and then run off with another man, but he lived through that and forgave her, and she almost runs off with her lover over something so comparatively insignificant, giving the excuse that the standard is that he never even drank coffee with another girl. So, because he is much more trustworthy and honest as a baseline, it doesn't matter that he was willing to wait for her (for years), and forgive her more than one year long deception, while she cheated on him for more than one year, run off with DK for two years, and she finds no issue with her flirting and having this ambiguous relationship with the man she cheated on HS with, when she should instead be trying to restore the trust she broke, and therefore doing the exact opposite? Talk about a double standard.

I find it disturbing that she talks about being hurt and humiliated by him merely liking another girl -who doesn't like him back and is therefore no threat- for a very brief time, but does not acknowledge in any way, shape or form that what she herself did was about a billion times worst. What, since she is the type of person to cheat on her boyfriend and run off with another guy, then it's not a problem for her to flirt and indulge/lead on his cousin and DK, who she had cheated on her bf with, because it's a lower level of expectations, and her bf is used to her being fickley, while she is used to him having ever been in love with her and her alone? It seems insane, if there is someone that should take action to restore trust, and try to be mindful and understanding of any discomfort and insecurity her partner would rightly have while trying to heal and rebuild trust after her horrific betrayal, it would be her (that would include stopping with the flirting and not indulging the peopele that have feelings for her, setting clear boundaries, particularly with DK who she had an affair with for more than a year and run off with for two).

I mean, aside from basic morality, this is just practical. Again, no issue in principle with flirting or talking on the phone/spending time with ex-es, even one on one. If said ex is someone that you cheated on your partner with for more than a year, and then run off for two, and you are trying to get your partner to trust you again (and in any case you don't want to hurt them), than maybe phone calls and one-to-one meetings or lunches where you tease/flirt and you indulge them and make clever come-backs rather than set clear boundaries and tell them that this behaviour is not acceptable would be just practical. There simply isn't the necessary trust with her current partner for him to be okay, and confident that she would respect the boundaries and not backstab him, because in the past she didn't respect such boundaries and lied to his face for more than a year. Trust needs to be built up, and teasing, being flippant, jockingly asking about his opinion of her involvement with DK... if you need to ask, with DK as with her cousin, then you already know the answer. If he acts as if he is okay and he is not, then probably ask yourself why he doesn't feel confortable sharing that he is not okay, and realize that mocking his concerns is literally insane when he has every reason in the world to be concerned: her cheating with DK is not paranoia, it's something that actually happened after they had been together for almost a decade, and went on for more than a year.

She doesn't take his concerns seriously and doesn't seem interested in rebuilding trust (assuming that it's even possible, though the show basically doesn't make a big deal about it and sweeps the issue under the rug, completely unrealistically in my opinion... I mean, the mild unease of someone that had been dumped when she run off with another man is one thing, and is probably bigger than what he demonstrated in terms of insecurity, but here we are talking about her having a more than year long affair before running off with the guy without another word... this ought to have been much more of an issue, and it was mentioned, in much more muted tones, and then dropped).

This is a problem. She was lucky enought that HS waited for her and forgave her and took her back, the least she could do would be actually care about what HS thinks. If it's a concern, it deserves to be discussed and addressed seriously, not mocked. He needs to be comfortable sharing his fears and insecurities, while being given the safety to know that, even without agreeing, she would at least take his perspective and his concerns seriously. Instead they are made light of, and he puts up with the mocking tone. But it's not a jocking matter that should be treated flippantly. It's serious. And in this case, it's not paranoia, or him doubting a trustworthy person. It's something that actually did happen, and it's him dealing with someone that had already broken his trust by lying to his face for more than a year.

I was disappointed in not seeing them discuss her feelings for DK, his feelings for HS himself at the time and now, why she did what she did, why she changed her mind, and honestly discussing boundaries and what he is comfortable with (and if he tries to play it cool but it's obvious to everyone that he is not unaffected, and she sees it clearly, otherwise she wouldn't have asked, not to mention she used the still infatuated DK, who she had cheated on her bf with, to make her bf jealous... she clearly knows he doesn't like the guy and for good reason, even if he shakes his hand and acts as if he is not bothered... she knows all this, she just doesn't care, and she very much should, if she wants to rebuild trust... all the while asking *him* to not get too attached to FL -prescient words, but here it's not her that had been given any reason to fear she couldn't trust him-... again, my perspective on this is that give the context, it's perfectly fine to pay someone back with their own coin, and if you didn't show any honesty, loyalty and respect to someone, you are not entitled to any in return -for the same reason, I was perfectly fine with, say, the betrayed wife in A Good Lawyer's Wife cheating on her husband... and I actually did wish that things would have developed into a more serious triangle for the sake of the drama, but it instead turned into a one-sided mini-crush with a small kiss she didn't reciprocate... again, the premise being that he put up with her betrayal for more than a year, and then she run off with another man without a word for two years, so a one sided mini crush and small unreciprocated kiss are really so insignificant by comparison that anyone in her position, or anyone sane with any sense of perspective, really, should feel ashamed to even mention it in the same sentence... and I am saying she would have deserved it if a more serious affair happened? Yes, yes I am very much saying exactly that -she has no leg to stand on- and no, it wouldn't have been the same thing, because, again, someone that didn't show any loyalty, respect and honesty is not entitled to any in return: she cheated on someone that thought her incapable of anything of the sort, and that never even drunk coffee with another girl and was fully focused on her, while he would have cheated on someone that deceived him for more than a year, run off without another word with her lover despite his begging, and two years later came back fully expecting that he would be still waiting for her and entirely focused on her, telling him that things didn't pan out with the man she had cheated on him with for more than a year and run off to live with for two, and that she now wants to be with him again -the old pair of shoes she dropped on the side that she assumed, unfortunately correctly, she would find in the same place and still waiting for her-, and that didn't do a single thing to rebuild his broken trust, or in any way care to set boundaries, if not with his cousin, who was not a threat, at least with the ex she cheated with an who is still infatuated with her... if the question is "don't you trust me?", the answer is unfortunately that he has no reason to, and every reason not to).

That's the thing, she dares to talk about not trusting anymore, but it's him that has been given no reason to trust her, and there is simply no proportions (you can say that pushing someone after they shoved you is violence and punching people in the face at random in the street -aka the knockout game-, or shooting up a school, are also violence, but then you lose all sense of proportions... plus, again, 100% in support of the betrayed wife in The Magicians sleeping with another man: turnabout is fair play, if you dish it out, you should be able to take it, if you don't want there to be s**t, don't start s**t). The fact, given the context, is that she is not owed any trust, and apparently doesn't seem to care about reassuring him in the slightest, treating the question in a joking and flippant manner, which would have been appropriate had she been honest with him and not given him a reason to not trust her, but given that she had completely betrayed the trust he had put in her, her mocking or minimizing his concerns and dislike of DK, for example, is really gaslighting.

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Strong show

Nice show.

Regarding YJ's apology, I really would have liked some clarification on two points:
1. Did she come clean about her more than year long deception to HS before running off with YH (who anyway knew about it while it was going on)? Did she apologize for that part at the time (i.e. not as part of the half uttered apology she said to him when he took her back? Because that's definitely a part that pertains to lack of honesty and respect and that she should have felt sorry and apologized for irrespective of whether she wanted to continue staying with HS. It's something the he absolutely should have been made aware of prior to any conversation about taking her back, in order to make an informed decision. I am not sure whether she knew he knew (hopefully if she didn't she told him at some point prior to the moment where she asked him to take her back). Again, this is something she should have apologized for two years ago, independently of whether she wanted to be with him or not. Not saying that she didn't, not saying that she did, but this would have been the best scenario in that situation given that it would have come at a non suspicious timing and would seem more genuine and less self serving.
2. Was the apology after he took her back including the bit about the more than year long deception, or was it about running off with her lover and not saying a word to HS for two years? In any case, I must say that the fact it arrives now, after two years of complete silence where she apparently didn't feel any need to do this, when she broke up with DK and wants HS to take her back, does make it feel less genuine than if it came at a less convenient (for her) timing and with no strings attached (i.e. while she was trying to convince him to take her back.

All in all, I do perceive in her a rather self serving streak that makes me wonder if the second one would have come at all had things gone differently with DK, as for the first one, I don't even know if it was made or if she came clean about the deception that HS already knew about (not asserting that it wasn't and she didn't), and if it did whether it happened at the time or now that she wants him back... we don't know anything, so it's hard to judge exactly what I am seeing. But I do get the suspicious that HS would have never heard from her again, like he didn't in the past two years, if things had gone differently with DK (but we don't know). But maybe things went differently with DK exactly because she decided she was in love with HS and not DK (HS's cousin seemed to imply that she left DK for him, and she seemed to be in love with HS and not DK, but as to what prompted this change of heart, we are left in the dark... she mentions a model, but it's unclear if it's DK's rebound... again, we know nothing). The thing is, her apology shouldn't really depend on whether she wants to be with HS or not. I think that it's reasonable to separate the pieces, and maybe when she loved DK and not HS and left with the former she didn't regret it, but she does not because she is no longer in love with DK but with HS instead... it would have been an interesting question to ask, because she still refers to it as "love" and says she "followed her heart" when she dumped HS for DK (and indeed if she fell out of love with HS and in love with DK there is nothing wrong with telling HS that and breaking up, what's wrong is the more than year long deception that is an entirely separate matter, and that she should feel sorry and apologize for irrespective of how things ended up with DK and HS, and as discussed above hopefully do so years ago, not now that she wants HS back.

The whole point being, I guess, that we don't have the information to get a clean picture, these are just some random thoughts on the matter and how I would feel about various scenarios and how self serving some scenarios could be compared to others.

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