The Meg (2018)

"Pleased to eat you!"

If you decide to watch The Meg because of the tagline, "Pleased to eat you!" you probably already know to check your brain at the door because you are about to be swamped with clichéd characters and plot and ridiculous pseudo-science. Most of the CGI and cinematography were quality which helped when the dialogue tried to drown the fun of a massive Megalodon or two set loose from the Mariana Trench!

Starring Jason Statham, you know he's going to have to go mano y pectoral fin with the giant 90ft/27m shark at some point in time. Jonas is the lone diver who can attempt a rescue at over 11,000ft/3300m depth and he's off in Thailand drinking his sorrows away. He'd attempted a rescue five years earlier of a sub trapped in the Trench and had to abandon some of his men when the sub was attacked by a giant creature. Even though he saved numerous lives he was branded as having had a psychological breakdown for the story he told. When his ex-wife and crew become stranded at the bottom of the Trench, an old teammate comes calling to talk him into rescuing her.

The characters were stock characters, shallow with little personality. Li Bing Bing was weighed down in the Stereotypical Headstrong Female Scientist role who thought Statham's Jonas was crazy and treated him as such until she was rescued by him numerous times as he snatched her out of the jaws of death. She had a Wise Beyond Her Years Daughter who helped to lead the two divorced people to a romance. The rest of the crew included the Egotistical Billionaire, Tough Chick, Black Guy Who Can't Swim (really?!?), Scientist Bestie, Jerk Doctor, Dad With a Target On His Back, and a couple of other scientists. Honestly, with the exception of a couple of characters, none of them were developed enough to make me care whether they lived or became chum. One of the early deaths was actually emotional and done well, after that it was bring on the shark!

The science was particularly awful without any conception of the forces at work on submersibles and the people in them at the deepest depths of the ocean. And one scene that was supposed to be frightening had me laughing until I could barely breathe. Seriously, that little boat they used was tough if they could lasso a megalodon using it! Also, every time the script called for Statham to have to dive into the water to face the big fish to show his courage was hilarious.

If you watch this movie, you need to know that there aren't any award-winning performances, in fact, some are particularly bad. The science is dreadful. The dialogue can be cringe-worthy. When numerous people are threatened the stakes don't feel very high because we don't know anyone, even the people from the main crew who fall into the water every five minutes. If you can set all that aside, it is a fun movie with the ginormous sharks seeking to turn back the clock about 10 million years when they ruled the oceans.

9/13/23

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