Find Yourself (2020)

Con la premisa de una mujer en sus treintas experimentando su primer amor con un hombre más joven, actuando en contra de los prejuicios, creí que disfrutaría mucho de Find Yourself; sin embargo, es una historia donde la mayor parte del tiempo reina el miedo al qué dirán.

La protagonista, He Fanxing, se empeña en vivir la vida que los demás creen que debe tener e incluso termina lastimando al hombre que ama. No pude sentir empatía por ella porque sus acciones no tenían consideración por los sentimientos de otros. Lo peor es que no tuvo una evolución apropiada, hasta el final toma desiciones abruptas, después de 40 episodios de estar de cabeza dura. No se hizo ningún honor al título del drama.

Aunque el personaje más odioso es Ye Luming, quien es una red flag andante. Se inserta a sí mismo en la vida de Fanxing, manipulando todo para obtener lo que quiere: casarse con ella. En ese triángulo amoroso quien demuestra mayor madurez es el más joven, Yuan Song, aunque tampoco es perfecto.

El arco de Cai Minmin (mi Meloncito adorado) fue el más entretenido y divertido. Hasta su relación me gustó, aunque al inicio estaba reacia por ser alumna/profesor, lo bueno es que se discutió el tema, así como las dinámicas de poder en una pareja, y se resolvió el dilema.

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Siento que es un drama dividido en 2 mitades, la primer mitad esta en el principio de relación de la pareja principal donde podemos ver el desarrollo de los personajes y nos podemos hacer una idea (xq tampoco nos demuestran mucho de ellos al principio) de como es su contexto en cuanto a su perspectiva y como se conectan con los otros personajes. En lo personal esta es la mitad que mas amo de la pareja principal, aunque se empieza a generar un poco de odio por la forma de ser de he fanxing y es un odio que ella se termina ganando de buena gana, también se aprecia la mitad inmadura de yuan song. Esta mitad casi que no tiene algo mas interesante que el desarrollo de la pareja principal pero bueno la historia avanza y termino en el rompimiento de la pareja ( personalmente la culpa recae en las dos partes, no una mas que las otras).
La segunda mitad me parece por lejos la parte mas interesante del drama porque se abandona un poco la atención en la pareja principal pero sin dejar de ir desarrollando sus personajes, en esta parte se termina de consolidar el odio hacia he fanxing y como dije ella se lo gana porque la historia como ella y sus amigas la justifican con que ella no tiene la madures en las relaciones y por eso todo se termino con yuan song pero acá se confunden todos con la "madures en relaciones" con la falta de empatía, nada tiene que ver que ella nunca haya tenido relaciones a el sin fin de horribles decisiones que fue tomando desde el principio y que las amigas fácilmente le resumieron en una línea "estas lastimando a los tres" (refiriéndose a ella, yuan song y el señor ye).
Pero sin duda lo mas interesante de esta mitad es el desarrollo de todas las parejas secundarias y la que mas me robo el corazón y la que creo la mejor pareja de todo el drama es cong xiao y chang huan, ellos son hermosos y ame todo lo relacionado a ellos como su triangulo amoroso, su crecimiento y al fin su desenlace ♥ la verdad me hubiera gustado ver mas de ellos. Otra pareja q me resulto linda es la de he can yang y cai min min aunque creo q esto es mas por su química al actuar que por la pareja en si.
Por ultimo quiero mencionar el personaje mas detestable de todos que me pareció horrendo y creo que se va a pasar por alto y esta es una de las mejores amigas de he fanxing, song xue. es obvio que no puedo mantenerme objetivo en este punto pero creo que alguien puede tener la misma opinión. Ella todo el drama muestra un personaje moderno y ajeno a los prejuicios como otras cosas toxicas de la generación anterior que se observan en los dramas pero en realidad es igual o peor que ellos y de lo único de lo que soy feliz es que no la hayan metido a la fuerza entre he can yang y cai min min pero personalmente odie su personaje.

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Comencé a ver esta serie porque busque algo light en Netflix, y el titulo sonaba prometedor. Después de terminarla me di cuenta que el titulo no me encaja con la historia, aunque en el fondo los protagonistas se encontraron a si mismos. Pero quién no va a madurar después de 41 capítulos siendo tan inmaduros. No hubo manera que la pareja principal me gustara, me dio vergüenza ajena la inmadurez de esta mujer, y no hay justificación psicológica, que aunque no tuviera experiencia en las relaciones, que su comportamiento fuera tan tonto.
El protagonista masculino, Yuan Song, no le creí nada, no sentí empatía por él en ningún momento. Ye Lu Ming, gano todo mi respeto y admiración, de verdad yo me hubiera quedado con él, jajajaja. Si van a contar una historia donde el resto de la sociedad no cree que sea una relación válida, por lo menos convensanos a nosotros que realmente son una linda pareja y se merecen el uno al otro, así el resto de la historia veríamos todos lo que les sucede enfocados en querer que estén juntos. A mi me paso lo contrario, solo quería que se la se enamorara de Lu Ming. Lindo, inteligente, simpático, cariñoso, realmente mostraron todo lo que una mujer desearía, entiendo el porque, lo que no entiendo es el porqué al protagonista no lo desarrollaron, no le vi el atractivo, o solo era mala actuación?
La historia principal no me gusto para nada. Seguí viendo la serie hasta el final, solo para ver lo demás, Los otros romances, las otras relaciones tenían un mejor desarrollo, lastima que no las profundizaron más.
El final, el momento donde debería haberse "encontrado a si misma", fue el momento mas infantil y sumisa posible, de verdad no me gusto.
Las 7 estrellas son por las otras actuaciones, las otras historias y porque hubo varias escenas que me hicieron reír mucho.

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Song Wei Long is Adorable!

This is a sweet, sweet, sweet little rom-com. Sweet in every sense. Though there are some conflicts, nothing too outrageous or unsolvable. Song Wei Long who plays the character Yuan Song has definitely brought life into this lovely drama and his character. I'm normally not a light-headed blurry eyed person, but Song Wei Long has turned me into a silly teenager basking in his youthfulness.

When Song Wei Long made this drama, he was still a teenager (18). Despite his very young age, his acting is mature and convincing. As Yuan Song, he doesn't hold back with anything, especially when it comes to intimacy. He dares to kiss and love. Young, handsome and sunny, he is a heart throb. I just can't have enough of his scenes because I love watching him from the start. I love his youthfulness that doesn't lack maturity.

When He Fanxing (played by Victoria Song) meets Yuan Song, she's attracted to him. Fighting back her own emotions, she doesn't know what to do. On the other hand, Yuan Song falls head-over-toe in love with Fanxing and he knows this woman is exactly who he wants in life. Compared with Yuan Song, Fanxing is like a little girl emotionally; she doesn't have what a normal woman her age has. Though smart and strong, Fanxing is naive and clueless when it comes to intimate relationships. Yuan Song however, is mature and devoted. Despite a huge age difference of 10 years, the pair looks perfect for each other.

Of course nothing sails smoothly in life. Comes the killjoy Ye Lu Ming (played by David Wang). He tells Fanxing that their friendship is only platonic, she believes him and treats him as her confidante. But he uses this opportunity to winning the hearts of her parents and making her indebted to him. He creates dates after dates pretending these are their innocent hangouts, and she is oblivious to the facts. He plays her naivete to the fullest. At this point, many viewers curse the Fanxing character, and inevitably the actor herself. This is silly because Victoria Song should not be condemned for being such a good actor that brings the Fanxing character to life.

Initially I questioned the writer for giving us such an emotionally naive character as in Fanxing, and such a foxy character as in Ye Lu Ming; I thought such characters were unrealistic. However, when I searched deep into my own experiences, such characters do exist. I used to know someone who used the same tricks as Ye Lu Ming does, and trapped a girl that he had been pursuing without the girl realizing she was being trapped.

I love the side couples here, in particular Cai Min Min (played by Esther Yu) and He Can Yang (played by Zhang Yu Jian). Cai Min Min is so adorable like a little toddler. He Can Yang's relationship with his twin sister He Fanxing is simply so cute and silly. It's rare for Chinese dramas to portray parents as open-minded as the He's - both of their children have a penchant for very young partners, like at least 10 years younger. The family dynamic is amazing and nostalgic for me.

Many viewers show doubts in following a story that involves a large age gap between the main couple. To this, I'd say, keep an open mind. It's always socially acceptable for a man to marry a very young wife, but not so the other way round. I understand the rationale behind such norm as there is a limitation within a woman's body when it comes to the biological clock and reproduction, but who were to say a couple must always produce offspring in a relationship? Intimacy in a relationship can be expressed in many forms. How Yuan Song plays out in this drama makes me believe that happiness does exist despite the age gap.

I hope through this drama, some single ladies take up the courage to start dating younger men of which I'm supportive. Discard any social pressure or traditional norms. Follow one's heart. Find one's true love. Don't make do with just any men. No one can tell how one should live one's life.

What a wonderful sweet drama this is. Worth watching.

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** FIND YOURSELF IS WORTHWHILE**

This Drama is a Very Fun Ride,
Every Episode Will Make You Scream from the Excitement.
The Chemistry Between Lead is Very Amazing
**SPOILER ALERT**
**SCROLL AT YOUR OWN RISK**
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They Only had good/happy times together
.
which Became their reason for Breakup, after the breakup they are trying to understand each other more.
I have watched The show Since the first Episode Aired, the story of This is Like Many Other Dramas about Older Women And a Young Boy Falling In Love but Still There Is no Other Character Like He Fanxing And Yuan Song.
I Almost Waited 1.5 year for this Show To air.
From the first episode to the last I was hooked to it Watching No other Drama in between.
I liked the Female Lead (Many find her dump for making certain choices but that's what her character was about, A Women Inexperienced in love in Her 30s)
The Male Lead is Perfect For His Character
(The I Was waiting for This Drama) the Way He shows the Feeling of Love is Just Best...
This Drama Deals with Infidelity, Single Mother, Society Pressure for Marriage, Women thought On Marriage, Secret Dating
Another reason I liked this was For Second Lead Couple
He Canyang and Cai Min Min The Cutest Couple Ever (Made For Each-other Type Couple).
You Can Find Many Type of Relationship
Overall a Spend a Wonderful Time with this Drama - full Package Drama
My Second Favorite after Love020.
.
.
I Hope After Reading My Review People Are Encouraged to Watch this Amazing Show Right-way Because
**THIS IS WORTH YOUR TIME**

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To Find Yourself, Think of Yourself - socrates

This drama started with an issue of a 32-years-old career women who doesn't have experience in dating.
Her first love promised to get married in future, but it fell right after they met again after years.

The FL, He Fan Xing, is the oldest daughter in family- even tho she has twin brother, but she's more mature than her twin. When they are younger, her twin brother, He Can Yang, doesn't let any guy to get closer to her until no one wanted to get close her. She is definitely has zero experience in dating. So, her mind and act is easily read by others.
Fang Xin is like an earth. She has everything like beauty, career, money and loving family. But she also has gravity and magnetic force fields, so she make sure everything she does, doesn't effect everyone around her.

The ML, Yuan Song, is an intern who brought by Fang Xing because of her brother asked her. At first, Yuan Song is kind of troublemaker and like to tease her after he started to get know her true--of course, it's also because her brother always sharing about how weird his twin sister to him. He found Fang Xing is mature yet innocent, so he attracted to her charm.
His character like a wind, sometimes calm sometimes not, transparent and running towards his dream.

Their three months relationship may not shown much because it's not only focused on main lead relationship. But I can say they are happy during the three months. It shown how much Yuan Song loved her and how Fang Xin cared for him even after the break up.

The SML, Ye Lu Ming, may be bit sneaky and ambitious. After he successed separated Fang Xin and Yuan Song, he always understimated Yuan Song. He feel he has win over him (after lose to him at first). Like, he wanted a limited edition bag but someone buy before you right in front of your eyes, you may do everything to get the bag. He is like a fire.
But, I can see he is not evil. He is good towards his niece and family, but also a fool for love. He sometimes creep me out because he was like popped out nowhere around Fang Xin.

Actually, I can understand why Fang Xin is very careful with her relationship with Yuan Song. She is 10 years older, and Yuan Song is her brother's student. As women, it is very sensitive matter. She doesn't want especially her family being talked in town after the topic she WAS 32 and UNMARRIED. She also doesn't want to hold Yuan Song, who is handsome. rich and have bright future and of course YOUNG. Whilst, Yuan Song feel insecure because he JUST graduated and an intern in Fang Xin's company. while the opponent is successful.
This matter worsened by Lu Ming's advices, which is turn out to be their break up.

Honestly, the story get better after the break up. I like how Yuan Song trying to fight his girl back, with raise his own value. Yuan Song know exactly what he want to do. It was good drama to watch.

Just like the title of drama, they need to Find Themselves and what they really wants before others.

This drama also is not just about their triangle love story. It also shown many relateable issues and heartwarming family, friends, and collegues.
The jokes also cracked me up especially with Can Yang's antics.

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Love Is Not About Forcing The Pieces To Fit, It’s About Falling Into Something That Fits Naturally

I rarely watch mature, melodramas as they seem pretty boring to me, but believe me, this is one of the best chinese melodramas out there.Here are some of the reasons why;

1.Well-written plot
Most of the modern dramas I watch are light hearted and comedy ones.But Find yourself's plot has both dramatic and comedy scenes.The plot is a little draggy but tightly written and the characters are beautifully portrayed as well.Though 42 episodes is too much for a modern drama, it is still worth watching.

2.Casts and Crews
I noticed that Victoria's acting improved a lot, since Ice and Fantasy (her acting was not quite good there).She portrayed the character pretty well.He Fan Xing was mature when needed to be mature,childish when needed, and Victoria was really impressive to portray such a character.
Song Wei Long,though young, is an amazing actor as well.He perfectly fits the role of Yuan Song (Young, handsome and loyal)
Wang Yao Qing (Ye Lu Ming) is the most outstanding one.You may feel annoyed by his character as a scheming second lead but it is relatable and I feel for him.
Other casts are impressive as well.

3.Multiple couples
I am quite happy to watch multiple couples having their own happy endings.Other than the main couple,there are He Can Yang and Cai MinMin, Cong Xiao and Chan Huan .

4.Family and Friends
I am touched by sister-brother relationship between He Fan Xing and He Can Yang, they supported and love each other.
Their parents are so sweet as well,supporting their children and I really enjoy watching parents-children and sister-brother relationships.
Scenes like friends solving the problems together made the drama more amazing.

5.Ost
Songs are not bad.

Don't binge-watch it as you may feel frustrated and become quite bored.Take your time, enjoy the moments and you'd definitely love it.

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So, I actually never watched a drama with Victoria as a lead before and from reviews I read, I went into this ready to drop it. However, I was pleasantly surprised. I wouldn't say she's an amazing actress, but I also wouldn't say that she made the show unwatchable. I enjoyed what she had to show and that's that. Also, to those who care, I'm not the type that cares for age-gaps in relationship and find shows that tackle these issues all the more interesting.

***SPOILERS***

The show itself brings us into the world of family and community in an Asian culture where social perception is held highly by families. One thing I AM glad they showed was the objection of the brother's age-gap relationship too. Not that I approve of EITHER relationships being shamed, but at least they weren't gender-biased about it.

The beginning of the show highlights the brief relationship between YS and HFX where we can CLEARLY see the conflicts that arise from her lack of dating expertise or lack of perspective from the other side (the man's) and his aggressive and youthful passionate approach to love. While she tries to hide their relationship and fears from the social implications of such a wide age-gap, he trudges onwards and tries his best to go about this 'hidden' relationship.

Let's be real, I totally understand why HFX is conflicted. If I were to bring home a man 10 years younger than me, I'm sure my family would also question me about it. It isn't in the realm of 'normal' and I think that's something that the show is hinting at. Normal for HFX would be to end up YLM, but there was no love - it was just compatibility in the sense of age, career, family, and such, but there were no feelings of love involved which made it hard for their relationship to bloom. We all wish we could make love blossom from nothing, but that's not how it works. With that said though, her character still really annoyed me, especially returning of the necklace. That just isn't something you do....to ANYONE. If someone bought you a gift that you believe was well above their means, talk about it. Don't just return it. I'm just glad she realized and bought it back (and owed YLM another favor *eye roll*)

YLM isn't all bad, but he is a bit creepy. He's TOO into this plan and stalking his love interest to the point that it's freaky. Also, the writers needed to lay off the 'coincidences' of him seeing HFX and YS together when he's out on his own. I understand that he just wants to find love and that's great, but it's also interesting that he went from the guy that was all about 'his destiny' or something to trying to plan out how to get the girl.

YS was immature, but I felt rightly so. As an almost new college graduate, he's a passionate young man that wanted to pursue his love interest and taken seriously. He may have come on stronger than necessary or made decisions impulsively, but like I said, he hasn't even graduated from college yet.

I actually enjoyed the main couples interactions MUCH more after they broke up, and they were 'friends'. Not because they were broken up, but because I felt like it was less restrained. Since there was no longer the labels of girlfriend and boyfriend involved, they bickered more, had less tense-filled conversations and all of that to me felt more organic. When they were dating it felt too much like they were trying to please each other and don't get me wrong, that's great, but they also needed to know each other more and be open about who they are.

Enjoyed the side characters! Sad about her father :( He's so loving towards his children and it broke my heart when he went missing, and He Canyang cried coming home.

Also, HCY and Minmin's relationship is adorable. I found that their relationship is very balanced where they both learn from each other. Minmin is a VERY open, forward, and sensible woman and HCY though immature, has the years of experience and can see her bright and wonderful personality. The scene where he tells her that a relationship isn't where one holds the power over the other is great to see, especially in a relationship where they have a 12-year age gap. He yields to her and learns from her while also teaches her and corrects her mindset. Honestly, even if they don't stay together, I feel like they would both have a lot to gain from the other in their loving relationship.

Love the female trio storyline as well. Honestly, this drama is so PACKED with storylines and such that my review is also all over the place. But overall, I enjoyed it for what it was and would recommend giving it a try!

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This is one of the first Chinese dramas with so many episodes that it's enjoyable and without useless drama. Let me tell you why I believe that this drama is not a waste of time.

THE GOOD THINGS ABOUT THIS TITLE

The story focuses on the love life of He Fanxing. A 32-year-old woman with no experience in love but with no resolution to get married just in order to get married. Love has no boundaries, they say but the main problem here it's age. Her prince is 10 years old younger than her and that often not perceived well by the public. The story might be quite clichè for some but there aren't many dramas that address this problem so here 1 point because they did something different.
As you can see the drama is 40 episodes long but it didn't feel like that. The episodes were light and cute although there were some annoying/sad scenes, the director was able to balance the cute and the sad scenes in the different episodes.
Many may think that our main character is annoying because she can't seem to decide what to do with her feelings for the guy she likes and I agree to some degree. However, let's be honest no matter how open-minded a person is, the concerns that Fanxing has are real and completely realistic. Another point for this characteristic.
The actors are perfect. I seriously have no comments. Everyone is likable, nice and let's not forget good looking.

THE THINGS THEY COULD HAVE DONE BETTER

The realization of He Fanxing feelings took a long time which led to a rushed ending. I would have liked to see how Ye Luming was doing, how the relationship with Yuan Song and the father turned out to be after all the things, how He Fanxing's family were doing in the end and such. I would have also like to see more lovey-dovey scenes at the end.
In addition, the long confusion period can be a turn-off - which I'm not going to lie, it was a bit for me - however, they were smart enough to add other enjoyable characters. They really could have cut few episodes in the middle to then show more of the main couple in the end.

CONCLUSION

In conclusion, although the age conflict between the main couple can be a turn-off to someone especially if dragged for too long, I can resecure you that they had done a nice job to tackle those useless dramatic scenes.
The actors have amazing chemistry which you would enjoy watching.

Are you tired of the usual clichè love story plot? if yes, then you should start watching this drama.
Are you searching for something interesting but not too mentally demanding? if yes, then you should start watching this drama.
Are you searching for something to watch without wasting your time? if yes, then you should start watching this drama.
Are you searching for a hot main male character? You should watch this drama for sure! haha

So give it a go!
You won't regret it


ps. I'm still learning how to write reviews so I hope that my opinions are clear and not that confusing.

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I had high hopes starting this drama, but by the end I felt rather empty and more neutral. The side relationships were more entertaining and developed compared to the relationship between the two main characters (Fanxing and Yuan Song).

Fanxing has literally no reason besides Yuan Song being young and attractive to be interested in him. From the moment Yuan Song begins to pursue her my largest question was how was this 'taboo' relationship going to develop. The answer was that is really didn't.

The relationship between Fanxing and Yuan Song just felt void of anything that truly connected them as a couple in love beyond what felt like forced romance between the two of them for the sake of telling the audience they were indeed together. "Look they've kissed so they are in love!" It was so dry and dull when 90% of their relationship is just dedicated to them keeping it a secret. So secret they barely actually are shown dating despite them being together for half of the series.

There was so much more development between Fanxing and Luming and even all the side relationships that the one between Faxing and Yuan Song.

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I was interested in this show because of the older woman, younger man plot. I was hoping the leads would treat each other as equals and make the drama worth watching, but that was not the case. The drama was more light hearted comedy full of sound bytes for batting eyelashes and all. I hate those types of shows.

The couple didn’t work for me for many reasons particularly because the male lead is not a very good actor. Not once did I believe that his love for the FL was more than a passing crush. He just couldn’t sell it to me. He spent the entire drama smirking when he was happy and sulking when he was mad. He acted like a young man and that’s okay, if the FL wouldn’t have treated him as such. No matter the age difference, the relationship works when the couple treats each other like equals. Our FL treats her boyfriend like the kid he is, so it’s not surprising that it doesn’t work.

The secondary love couple were even more ridiculous. Another couple with a huge age difference who act immaturely. There isn’t much buildup to the relationship as he treats her like an annoying little sister right until he decides he is in love with her. The girl has the IQ of a beetle who can’t find her way out of a paper bag. She is cute, but not marrying material.

The acting wasn’t all that noteworthy. They were annoying and foolhardy characters mucking through a superficial script. There are better shows out there.

I recommend Secret Love Affair for those who want to watch a passionate story between a woman in her 40s and a university student in his 20s. Excellent acting, well written script, and they treated each other like equals.

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I try not to compare other cultures with mine. But a 32 year old women is not that naive or stupid. Give us some credit. Most boys I have met in their early 20 are not very mature. I could see a young men turning an older women head, but a women realizes that he is just fun but not secure. I don't like how this scrip make us women low and stupid. The college girl was made to act like she a 6th grade girl. Even a spoil 18 yr. old women is not so immature. What is with all the beating and hitting. When my ex-husband was found out that he was cheating i never land a hand on him. Please write these script more to the new generation of women. independent, mature, and we know what we want.

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